


"Forever with you, whenever and wherever you are,"

by dinosaurus_maj



Series: You the Magenta Tallest and Your Two Idiots [3]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Almighty Tallest Reader, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Relationship, Everyone is really defective, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, I try to update every Thursday or Friday!, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), Irkens (Invader Zim), Irkens are Terrible (Invader Zim), M/M, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, Post-Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus, Queerplatonic Relationships, Reader has a name but I try to not use it too often!, Reader is an Irken, Reader-Insert, The Control Brains suck, The Resisty Resisting Against the Irken Empire (Invader Zim), Time Skips, Told in Snippets, headcanons, if I forget any tags please tell me!, it's mostly up to interpretation, whether or not most of the relationships are either platonic or romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26196667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaurus_maj/pseuds/dinosaurus_maj
Summary: The entire Irken Armada went missing. Most importantly, Red and Purple went missing with them. You're sick and tired of sitting around and listening to the Control Brains, so you take matters into your own hands. You carve your own path, make your own rules and do what's best for the sake of your people—Even if you have to go against everything you've ever believed to do so.(Or: I got impatient and wanted to try writing angst.)[EDIT: Going on hiatus due to exams.Updates will resume in November!The exams' been delayed, so updates will be resuming late November instead ripEND MY SUFFERING (schools closed. indefinite hiatus) ]
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Purple & Almighty Tallest Red & Reader, Almighty Tallest Purple/Reader, Almighty Tallest Red/Reader, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Original Character & Original Character, Original Character(s) & Reader, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Series: You the Magenta Tallest and Your Two Idiots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859857
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	1. Gone but Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> There was supposed to be more stories in this series taking place after the previous two fics building up to the stuff that happens in this one but I got impatient and hated the way I was writing so now Imma try a different way of writing and instead of aiming for +5k and editing stuff heavily and trying to do dialogue Imma just try doing it in snippets with less dialogue and more just-write-what-i-want-because-i-want-to. Also, I need to balance hobbies and homework better so putting less time into writing will hopefully help me with that.
> 
> (Title is subject to change. I'm currently accepting suggestions <3)
> 
> ALSO: There's a huge time skip between this fic and the last one, so the Reader character has a more developed relationship with Red and Purple!

When it all started, there were calls. Lots and lots of calls. Calls from Commanders, Generals, Invaders—a bunch of ringing and beeping and bright lights coming in every few minutes. You'd stopped answering them yourself after a few hours and opted to just... sit there and listen and look at what's become a list of calls put on hold or have been hung up on. Some of them kept trying to get to you, some gave up, and you knew why they were calling you. What they'll say if you picked up.

_"Is Operation Impending Doom II still on?"_

_"What are our next orders? What should we do?"_

_"Where are the Tallest?"_

_"Where's_ the Massive _?"_

_"Why aren't Tallest Red and Tallest Purple answering us?"_

_"When are Tallest Red and Tallest Purple coming back?"_

_"Are Tallest Red and Tallest Purple dead?"_

You don't ever answer the last one. You don't want to. Answering it makes it real. To the others, you just say what the Control Brains told you to say; Reassure them and prevent panic. Tell them that everything is fine, Red and Pur are just taking a break and everyone else should just get on with their work.

Red and Purple aren't dead. Those fools are still out there somewhere. They may have gone radio silent, but they were still out there. You know they are. You made them promise they wouldn't do anything stupid. You made them promise to stay safe. To _come back to you._

And you know that your co-Tallest may be idiots, but like you, they've come a long way since their years as Elites, since the day you'd all been encoded Tallest. They wouldn't purposely get themselves into trouble. If they somehow did, they'd find their way out.

Those early days, those days when you found their presence unbearable and inconvenient, feel like a different lifetime. When you let them go to oversee Operation Impending Doom II, you had denied the reluctance you'd felt at being left alone. You were finally getting what you wanted, but you still had them make those promises that one night in the lounge, when you'd all huddled up together the day before Operation Impending Doom II officially began and listened to each other speak over the movie on the viewing screen.

The next few months after that were spent how you'd always thought you'd spend them as a Tallest. You found enjoyment in it, in having all the power to yourself, in having room to breathe and think and just be on your own, but the loneliness crept in sooner than later.

Red and Purple still gave orders even on _the Massive_ , but their focus were mostly on Operation Impending Doom II rather than the empire itself. They still contacted you, called you, sent you snacks, wrote their notes on the digital document you all shared. On bad days, they still talked to you, distracted you and made you laugh. It was almost like they never left.

Except for the glaring obviousness of their absence by your side. At ceremonies, arena battles, talk shows and during travels, there were no more chairs prepared either side of you for your fellow Tallest. There were no more bulk orders of donuts or slooshies, just ice cream and candy and candy bars. There came a point when, you'd been spending so much on ice cream that _they_ had to cut you off. It had been a blow on your pride, especially when they used your own words against you about unnecessarily overspending on snacks (especially dairy), but it was just another comforting thought; that as much as you were looking out for them, they were looking out for you, too, even when they were lightyears away.

You kept telling yourself that you preferred it, being an individual Tallest, but you were kidding yourself when you denied it was nice having one or two someones watch your back.

You saw them again sooner than expected, but it was only because that Trial happened.

You'd let your guard down and gotten attacked by one of your own guards. Neer, her name was. You doubt you'd ever forget her.

The declaration that she was defective came as a shock, but thinking about it afterwards there were a lot of signs that you'd ignored, unwilling to think that one of your most trusted soldiers would turn against you. For one, she was questionably close to her partner, Deme (Which you hadn't given a second thought at the time. Their relationship wasn't unlike the one you had with Red and Purple so you'd told yourself it was fine.) and more than once she had audibly questioned the validity of the height system.

Your eyes were opened on the day of her trial. Before it even began, her partner had begged for you to hold it off and pleaded with you that Neer was innocent, but you all knew that the final decision was for the Control Brains to make.

And you all knew that every Irken ever been put on trial always ended up in the Pit. There was no way around it. Nothing you could do.

You never thought that you could ever feel so powerless as a Tallest.

You couldn't enjoy the reunion with your fellow Tallest like you'd wanted, but their presence helped you through the Trial and what came after.

Tears. Anger. Screaming. And it was all you.

You'd tried so hard to shove it down, bury it deep with everything else like your late Tallest had told you to do because being an Irken, especially a Tallest, means no time for feelings. Still, it all burst out anyway, and your partners had been there to help you through it.

But then they had to go again. Operation Impending Doom II was still happening, and you all needed to get back to your duties.

They never left your mind and neither did Neer, especially when you had to look at the hollow gaze of her partner every day and watch her smile emptily and say that it was all for the best even though Deme missed Neer as much as you missed Red and Purple. The only difference was that Neer was gone forever, with not even a PAK left behind.

You weren't supposed to feel so guilty, and yet you did, and that made you scared because Irkens don't feel guilt. The PAK was supposed to suppress those types of emotions, but you felt it so strongly that you wanted to carve out your insides and curl up and cry.

(Now that you understand how Deme feels you feel even more guilty. You hate it.)

It all only got worse when the empire lost all contact with _the Massive_ and the entire armada and the calls and questions started coming in. Scouts were sent out to find them not too long after because the entire Irken army disappearing into space was damning if not outright _scary_. You wanted to take _the Substantial_ and a small fleet and join the search yourself, but the Control Brains demanded you stay put. You didn't like it, but you'd learned well enough that being a leader of the empire doesn't mean dookie against the Control Brains.

You had reasoned that it was because the empire needed a Tallest to turn to. And then you wondered how much longer you were going to keep lying to yourself for.

The Control Brains made you stay in the empire and make sure that the news that Operation Impending Doom II turning out mucky doesn't spread. That lead to more talk shows and interviews and photoshoots and more public appearances all across the empire just for you to smile and wave and say "Everything is fine! Hail Irk!"

You didn't feel fine. You felt _useless_ and _small_ and _not-fine._ You wanted to find your fellow Tallest but you couldn't because being a leader of the entire empire means nothing but standing around and watching everyone else do all the real work. You wanted to help your people but they won't let you start.

So, what else could you do? You smiled and waved and told everyone that everything was fine even though you knew it wasn't. You received Invader reports and Deme quietly recorded them for you while you thought about Red and Purple doing the same. You did interviews and photoshoots and secretly went behind the Control Brains and gave unauthorized orders because everything was falling apart and you wanted to help your people.

Time passes in a blur and it's getting too hard to keep a smile on your face and your raging emotions at bay. It gets harder to rest on the cold, empty, comfortable unfoldable couch and you find yourself passing out from exhaustion or quietly crying yourself to sleep more than once.

You don't feel fine at all.

You don't know if Red and Purple are fine.

The Scouts have found nothing. You're starting to lose hope that they're even alive. The empire lost an entire army and everything was falling apart.

Ironically, the only comfort you find during this time is in Deme. She notices your blank stares and forced smiles and, when no one's around, holds your arms and tries to console you. No 'my Tallest' or 'Captain'—you're just another Irken who's lost.

"It's going to be okay," she'd say, a more genuine echo of what you say to the empire. " _The Massive_ is indestructible. They'll turn up eventually."

She probably despises you for letting her Neer perish, but she still sticks by you anyway, more loyal than her partner ever was even when she has all the right to betray you. You don't doubt it if it's out of pity. In this state, you don't feel so almighty. You haven't looked in a mirror for a long while, but you figure that you probably don't look it too. But, looking into Deme's amber eyes, glossy with unshed tears and filled with sympathy and understanding, you don't feel all that alone.

_Eventually_. You don't know when that will be, but if it means that you'll get to see Red and Purple again, then you'll wait, no matter how much you hate it.

For as long as it takes.


	2. Alone and Isolated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You miss Red and Purple. Deme tries to make things easier for you.

Your claw taps a steady rhythm on the tablet in your hands. Playing faintly from another screen on your desk was a pre-recorded interview. With a sigh, you lean back into the plush of your chair and absently watch the interview despite the Invader reports in your hands that you have to grade. Not like they really mattered anyway. The empire wouldn't send out an Invader if they weren't competent. It was just a form of motivation for them.

The interview's volume is too low to be heard even in the silence of the office, but you've played it enough times to be able to hear it clearly in your mind as it plays.

_"...the empire is buzzing to know what your favourite snacks are! Chocolate? Chips? Gummy worms? They're all just dying to know!"_

There's the sound of candies clattering against each other and a hum of delight.

 _"Donuts, all the way,"_ Purple says through a mouthful of candies. _"Jelly, plain, glazed, love 'em!"_

 _"I prefer drinks myself,"_ comes Red's voice next. _"Though, you can't go wrong with pastries!"_

 _"I don't really have a preference, but I do enjoy popsicles."_ There's a pause as the you in the footage glances at Purple as he tries to speak again. _"You're going to choke on those."_

He makes sassy noises while Red snickers to himself. Purple finally swallows the candies and makes a comment about you and ice cream, and Red bursts out laughing while you frown as your face turns a darker shade of green.

You turn up the volume a little. You lean your head back onto the chair's head rest and listen to the sound.

You miss it.

Back in your earlier days as Captain, there were times when you felt the same, though back then the feeling didn't linger too long. Now, it feels like a chocolate stain that won't rub out of your pristine new Miyuki figurine. It made you feel hopeless.

You'd forgotten how long it's been since your fellow Tallest and the entirety of the Armada had been officially announced as MIA. It used to be an hour ago, and then it turned into a day, and then a week, a month, a few months... It all feels like a really long yesterday, and you wonder when it's going to be tomorrow; when they'll come back and say _"Whoops! We accidentally turned off all communications for a few months!"_ before you sucker punch them for being such idiots.

You say a joke, and Red and Purple laughs. Present you smiles a little, admittedly a bit at your own joke, though mostly at the sounds of their laughter that makes a light, warm feeling grow in your chest.

Once, Deme called your relationship with your fellow Tallest 'wholesome'. You're still not entirely sure what that means or where she even learned the term. It doesn't sound Irken at all.

Still, though, it felt appropriate as you picked up one of the dolls on your desk and cradled it as if it were a living creature. It wasn't really a doll, but a puppet—one made in Purple's likeness. The stitching was imperfect and his eyes are a little crooked, but that just made it feel more true to the real Purple you knew. Imperfect, but you still got along with him despite that.

Red's puppet was a bit rougher around the edges. Red had told you that this puppet was one of his first projects when he'd first picked up the skill—Somewhere and sometime during his Invader training, undercover as a rebel. It was curious he'd gotten interested in sewing of all things, and he wasn't really sure himself why when you'd asked. It was hard and frustrating and he'd only continued doing it after a successful attempt at making a magenta-eyed doll. Maybe he found some satisfaction in it somehow. He doesn't do it often, though you've watched him work on his projects during off-times more than once.

You'd never really been too interested in it, though now you're curious how he'd managed to connect scraps of fabric together to resemble something else. His work wasn't good enough to match or rival the official Tallest merchandise or the other stuff made by the factories, but you had an appreciation for his efforts.

Once, during one of your video calls, he'd showed you a puppet he'd made of you as well as some more life-sized puppets of him and Purple. It had made you smile after having an unpleasant day, though then you started wondering if operating Operation Impending Doom II was _that_ boring as to prompt Red into doing something that required so much work just because.

Now you were wishing that you could call them and ask again. You felt tempted to do so—it was just a tap away—but you held yourself back. You know that you would just disappoint yourself.

Holding Purple's puppet gently in your hands, you frown a little at the threads that have come loose. You prod at them gingerly, though you're worried that putting just a bit more force on it might make the entire thing fall apart. You don't risk it and gently sit the puppet down next to his partner once again.

Maybe you could fix it, but even with all the skills that you had, sewing was far from being one of them. You've never been interested enough. Besides, the empire already had factories and robots making everything. Why would you learn something so trivial?

You wish you had now, though.

Instead of sewing, you do something else that you're actually adept at. You pull out your personal tablet and open the document shared between the three of you. Scrolling through them, your eyes occasionally catch some familiar passages and you stop to read them. You'd made it so that the three of you could write and share notes easily, but it'd somehow turned into another form of communication between the three of you.

**Can one of you please pass a message from me to Navigator Ves? -GEN**

**can't right now busy -R**

**I'd do it but  
Okay don't get mad at me but I still don't really remember all the guys names so I have no idea whos Ves -PUR**

**Didn't you read the guide I made you? -GEN**

**Maybe I did maybe I didn't maybe I deleted it -PUR**

**Purple! Why did you do that?? -GEN**

**it reminded me too much of you bossing me around in real life and it made me miss you. -PURPUR**

**aw -R**

**but actually he said he did it because he was too lazy to read it. -R**

**I thought you were busy -PUR**

**You could've just asked me to make a less detailed version. -GEN**

**Can you make a less detailed version for me, GENNY? -PURPUR**

**I'm a bit swamped, but I'll try to get it to you by tomorrow. -GEN**

**Ok thankyou -PUR**

A smile slowly makes its way onto your face and you shake your head to get rid of it. More than ever, you've been getting too many wistful feelings and just feelings in general that made you wary. Irkens weren't supposed to _care_ so much about anyone, and yet here you are. Perhaps you should schedule a PAK check-up.

 _No._ You shake your head again to get rid of the thought. Your PAK is fine and needs no repairs. You just need to stop... thinking, so much.

You got your mind off of... well, your mind, and focus on what you had been intending to do when you'd picked up your tablet. You breeze past more conversations until all there are are a long string of entries from the past few months. Your eyes glaze over them. Despite writing down all your thoughts and ramblings, you refused to do more than give them a passing glance. There was a button to jump straight to the empty section, but you have been ignoring it lately in favour of taking the more scenic route.

 **Red, Pur,** you begin like you usually do. You then thoughtlessly write down all that has been happening lately as well as the current frustrations plaguing you, your fingers moving on their own to form a letter that might never be received. Not for the first time, you tell them to stop pulling their prank—if it was one—and you warn that you are going to be very angry when they come back. You mention Red's puppets and once again you ask him about the appeal of sewing despite knowing you likely won't be getting an answer anytime soon.

You're about to sign it when your eyes graze the last few sentences you had written, making you pause.

**Things have been so lonely lately. Like I mentioned, I'm letting Deme and the rest of the ship's crew have some time off while I'm still grounded. It's been a while and even though she doesn't talk much, it feels quieter without her here. Was it like this for Miyuki too? Again, I wish I understood her better before she passed. She was probably used to being on her own and I wouldn't admit this to her, but I would prefer having the two of you with me during this time.**

You exhale a sigh, closing your eyes for a moment to let your own admissions sink in. You never really realised how your own words of your own thoughts could put things into perspective, which is why you've been ignoring them. The whole purpose of this was to let your thoughts out and stop letting them fester in your mind.

You end the entry. Despite you being the only one using the document lately, you sign it and turn off the device before putting it aside. Since Red and Purple's disappearance, you've resigned yourself to writing the same closing every time.

**Forever with you, whenever and wherever you are,  
MAGENTA**

* * *

The streets were so loud that Deme could hardly hear herself think and she liked it that way. Her thoughts have been so restless for so long that it was a relief to get some reprieve from them.

Here at the Intergalactic Outlet, everything around her was much more lively and chaotic compared to when she's in the Irken Empire. Irkens were a lot more mellow, having been trained to follow orders and do much of nothing else, but here everyone was free to do whatever wherever whoever they are. Deme rarely sees so many different races in one place, and after a long time of being in a spaceship full of other Irkens it was a breath of fresh air.

They did mind her, however. As she pushed through crowds and squeezed between people, some of them would see her and either make a face or turn away and not-so-subtly give her a wide berth. She liked the space they gave her, but she couldn't help but feel something inside her twist at how she was being avoided.

As she browsed the stalls and shops, other shoppers would stare or sneer. Sometimes, while looking through a window, someone inside would point to a _NO IRKENS_ or _IRKEN-FREE_ sign to silently convey that her presence wasn't welcome.

Deme had to admit, she didn't feel like she belonged there and was tempted to leave, but she couldn't, not until she found what she came there for. A place so diverse likely has someone that could help her, right?

Or rather, help _you_.

There was no sugarcoating it, but you have been a mess since Tallest Red and Tallest Purple disappeared. In all her years of serving you, from Captain to Tallest, Deme had never seen you so lost and distraught, not even when Almighty Miyuki died. Having pledged loyalty to the Tallest, she couldn't think of anything else but to find someone or something that could help with the search for _the Massive_ and the rest of the Irken Army while she had the time.

After an hour or two of walking around, Deme found a place to sit down and go through all the pamphlets and flyers she had collected while exploring the outlet. She still hadn't seen everything that this place had to offer, but since it was so big and vast it was impossible for her to be able to in such a short amount of time. She ordered some sandwiches to snack on as she did, and while she was wiping some mustard off of one of the flyers something caught her attention.

_"Are you sick and tired of being oppressed? Are you sick and tired of losing your homes, families and cultures? Are you sick and tired of being pushed around and enslaved? Do you want to do something about it? Well then, come and join the Resisty today and earn a chance to fight for your freedom!"_

Deme felt a spark of recognition and her antennae perked up to listen. Looking over her shoulder, she saw a crowd gathered a distance away from where she sat. In the middle of the crowd, from what she could see, was a Vortian stood on a stage and waving a flyer. From the sound of their voice, they were female.

The Resisty. Deme was familiar with them. They were the ones who attacked _the Massive_ a while ago, years before it disappeared. She remembers you talking about it and how Tallest Red and Tallest Purple earned a bout of motion sickness during the encounter. Their ragtag rebel group has grown since then, and there have been more and more reports of them actively sabotaging and protesting against the empire.

She thought that they were a curious group, and you thought that they were only a mild annoyance. Neer thought... Well, it doesn't matter what Neer thought.

(It does, but Neer's opinions clashed so much against everything that they had been taught to believe that it felt wrong just to think about her. Especially when Deme herself had considered them before...)

She must've stared too long, because the Vortian was looking right at her. They locked eyes and Deme hastily looked away. The Vortian continued talking while Deme tried to quickly finish the rest of her sandwich.

Neer would call her an idiot. She was in danger now. She shouldn't have come here.

At some point, the Vortian stopped her preaching and the din of the crowd dispersed. Deme was just getting up to leave when she sensed someone come up behind her. She froze, her antennae going just as stiff.

Limbs locked and ready for a brawl, she swerved around, only to be presented with a colourful poster and a wide smile.

"Hello, miss!" the Vortian chirped despite Deme's tight expression. "Would you be interested in joining our cause?"

Deme blinked. She looked at the poster and then fixed the Vortian with a confused and wary expression.

"Your cause?" she repeated incredulously.

"Our cause to destroy the Irken Empire and free all of its people and conquered planets! Interested?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, no, Red and Purple aren't going to be around much whoops. But, I do intend on writing a lot of flashback scenes/flashback chapters with them so if you have any ideas/suggestions for interactions between them and Reader, shoot! I'd love to hear all your ideas and opinions <3
> 
> I got Red's sewing hobby from TrashQueenofAngmar's fic Close Encounters of the Idiot Kind. I thought it was cute, so I decided to include it here. It's not all that relevant and there won't be much mention of it, since Red does it pretty rarely, but it is one of his skills in this fic though he isn't an expert.
> 
> If you have trouble envisioning the shared document thing: it's kind of like a Google Doc that is shared and can be edited between three people. Somehow, I can't imagine Irkens having texting, so I did this instead because why not and I thought it was a neat idea.
> 
> Also, yes, we're swinging into the plot pretty quick because I really want to write it. Will I do a good job writing it? I'll let y'all be the judge of that.


	3. Looking Good, Feeling Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't just solve all your problems with a smile and a pretty face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons ahead! The Tallest totes wear makeup when they make public appearances.

_"Red, can you pass me that brush?"_

_"That's mine. Use your own brush!"_

_"I can't find it!"_

_"Then look for it!"_

_"I don't know why I expected to have peace and quiet this time." you grumbled under your breath. Glancing down, you noticed an object on the floor and reached down with a PAK leg to pick up the thin, purple brush._

_"I_ told _you I can't find it," Purple said frantically. Red sighed. He moved to stand, but you stretched out your PAK leg to wave the brush in Purple's face._

_"This it?"_

_Purple gasped and a look of instant relief washed over his face as he took the brush from the metal appendage._

_"Thank Irk! Order has been restored!" he cheered, throwing his hands into the air._

_"Just hurry up and get ready. We're on in a few minutes!" you snapped. Purple eyed you as he swept some powder onto the brush._

_"Yeah, we'd probably get ready faster if_ you _get_ started _."_

_Next to you, Red laughed underneath his breath. You glared at Purple before directing your gaze down to the tablet in your hands._

_"The cake shipment for the banquet is overdue and I'm trying to figure out how to fix it." you informed him._

_"Let Rarl Kove handle that," Red said dismissively as he swiped another page of the magazine on his own tablet. "We're about to go on-air here."_

_You huffed in annoyance but looking at the time you knew that they (and also, yourself) were right in that you didn't have much time left before you have to go. Looking in the mirror of the vanity also told you that you wouldn't be able to deal with the matter and _also_ get yourself ready for the interview._

_Begrudgingly, you put the tablet down and picked up a tube of concealer. Leaning towards the mirror, you tugged at the dark circle beneath one of your eyes and cursed loudly._

_"_ This _is why you shouldn't skip your energy naps," Red said, gesturing to you with a hand. You directed a glare at him and he feigned horror. "Oh no! It's the sleep-deprived beast!"_

_Purple laughed at the other as he was holding a brush to his eyelid. The unsteady movement of his hand caused him to smear a line of eyeshadow over his face._

_He looked into the mirror and yelped. "Hey! You made me ruin my makeup!"_

_"Can't really ruin what's already been ruined." Red snarked. Purple puffed put his cheeks as he put his fists on his hips._

_"As if_ you _could do any better!"_

_Red laughed a "Ha!" and looked at his fellow Tallest challengingly. "I can't do any worse than you at least."_

_Unexpectedly, he turned his attention to you and he held out his hand palm-up._

_"Hand those over. Let's show our fellow Tallest here how an expert does it."_

_You stared at him. You wouldn't call him an expert. If you_ wanted _an "expert" to do your makeup you'd call the little drones currently on duty. Despite this, you place the tube and the brush on his palm anyway and let him get to work._

_"Turn around a little." he said. You swiveled the chair to better face him and he started brushing below your eyes with the brush. Behind him, Purple scoffed as he fixed the mess on his face._

_"That's hardly a challenge! A_ smeet _could do that!" he declared._

 _Red only smiled and you found yourself chuckling a little. You wouldn't admit it out loud but you_ did _feel weary without your scheduled rests. With your fellow Tallest and their antics you felt a hundred times better than you think you would in this state without their uplifting energy._

_Purple aggressively gathered up the supplies on the table and ushered Red away once the application of green cream your face was more than satisfactory._

_"Move over!" he said, pushing Red by the shoulder. "An artist like_ I _should do the next, more complicated step."_

_Red laughed but moved aside anyway. An expression of hyper focus fixed itself on Purple's face as he began to dust powder over your eyelids._

_You looked at him curiously. What an unusual situation you've found yourself in. Though, this sort of stopped being unusual since the three of you started applying makeup on your own just for more alone time together. Why not put on each other's makeup, right?_

_Though, the intimacy of it was a bit questionable._

_"You know I can—"_

_"Shush!" Purple repositioned your face since you'd turned away slightly. "Stay still."_

_You sighed but begrudgingly allowed him to continue. He remained focused, his movements careful and calculated with each stroke. A part of you, being aware of his mischievous nature, worried over just what exactly he was doing to you, but another part of you couldn't really be bothered. He knew what he was doing, and he knew what _you_ weren't beyond doing if he screwed around with your face of all things when you were on a tight schedule._

_"Ta-dah!" he exclaimed once he was done. He spun the chair so you were facing the mirror again and you found yourself satisfied with his and Red's efforts. "So? Did I nail it or what?"_

_"You did, Pur. Maybe you_ are _a makeup master after all," you said to humor him, though you weren't entirely kidding. He knew how to look good, and also make_ you _look good._

_A proud smile spread over his face. He put his arms around you and pulled you against him excitedly. "We look great, don't we?!"_

_"Picture perfect." Red said as he put his arm around the two of you. Your smiling reflection looked back at you, and not for the first time you forget about the worries in your mind and all you could think of is how nice this felt; to be just the three of you,_ together _, and having fun._

_A few knocks came from the door. As quick as lightning, Red and Purple moved away from you and stood as if they hadn't been so close to you just a moment before._

_"Forgive me for bothering, my Tallest," said a voice from the other side. "but I have to tell you that you're on in only ten minutes!"_

_"Ah well," Red sighed and shrugged. "Duty calls."_

_"Yeah. Hurry up, Genny!" Purple teased. You shook your head to shake away the emotions showing on your face before getting up and drifting out the door with them, though you did allow a small smile to show._

* * *

The silence of the dressing room was deafening. A recording on your tablet stays paused as you carefully blend a layer of deceptive cream underneath your eyes. Without too much effort, you instantly looked better, though you still felt like a soggy crumpled bag of potato chips underneath a trash pile.

Stepping back, you observe yourself. The thick layer of makeup you've applied on your face did its work in giving you a more lively, I-totally-don't-want-to-cry-into-a-pillow appearance, but other than that, you don't feel the appeal that you used to.

You stare into the eyes of your reflection. They stare back at you, and the sadness in them makes you feel sick. In the corner of your vision, you could see the blankets draped over the other two chairs in front of the vanity. They look dirtier than you remember, and running a finger over one tracked a visible trail through the dust that had gathered there. You really should let the drones in here at some point, but, at the moment, you really don't feel like giving them permission to snoop around in your private dressing room.

You already felt troubled enough as it is. There was this churning feeling in your squeedlyspooch that wouldn't go away no matter how hard you shoved and your thoughts won't stop rushing through your mind at light speed. Questions, decisions, worries, and it all only increased tenfold when you thought of Deme.

She'd just returned from her trip recently only to be more distant than ever. You were hoping that the time away from the hustle and bustle of the capitol would ease her mind a little, and yet it seemed to have only made her even more dispirited than before.

Her behaviour has been questionable. She's been outright avoiding you, _her Tallest_ , and she hasn't been very involved in your discussions with her. She almost always seemed to be too distracted to give her full attention, staring off into nowhere deep in her thoughts. If it were anyone else you would've chucked them off the planet already, but Deme wasn't anyone else. She was a loyal and trusted member of your crew and now your entourage, and the churning, restless guilt you felt every time you saw her influenced your rational judgement.

Perhaps you should try to talk to her about it, but where do you start? All you can think about is the condemnation of her closest companion and you know _you'd_ smash anyone's PAK in if they brought up _the Massive_ as an icebreaker. Perhaps you could just offer your support like how she's been doing for you, but would she accept it? There was the question that all that she's been doing could just be out of obligation. What if she sees your attempts as an insult?

You sigh, long and weary, and hunch forward until your forehead is touching the cool mirror. There's a gentle click as the tips of your claws meet the hard surface and you close your eyes to try and clear your mind for a moment's peace from all this turmoil. You wish Red and Purple were here. You wish you could just send a call and see that they were alright. You hope that they are still out there somewhere, trying to get back to you.

You're so lost in your thoughts that you startle when someone knocks on the door.

"My Tallest?" you hear a voice say carefully. "I know you don't want to be bothered, but... um, may I come in?"

Your antennae lift with relief. You call her in and Deme opens the door and steps inside almost warily. She glances around the room and becomes in awe of all the luxuries provided for the Tallest, but when her eyes lands on you she immediately looks away.

"I..." Deme trails off, seeming to rethink herself. You don't miss the way her claws fidget nervously or how her antennae are curling tighter than they usually are. "My Tallest, there's something I—"

"Deme." She flinches when you address her, and she reluctantly meets your gaze as if she was afraid you'd laser her to death with your eyes. You fold one of the chairs' blanket back and gesture for her to sit. She does so hesitantly, though she relaxes a little when you also sit down in front of her.

For a moment, all you do is look down at her as she continues to fidget and try to not look directly at you. You attempt to speak, and even she seems to want to say something, but neither of you have any idea how to begin.

The makeup palette on the table catches your eye and that gives you an idea for an attempt for some small talk.

"Have you ever tried these?"

That catches her off-guard and Deme stares at you with wide eyes.

"You mean... Cosmetics?" she inquires and you nod. "Never. I've never even considered them. I've just... Never had the need to, in my line of work."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to try them."

Judging from the look on her face, that was the last thing she'd expected from you, but she doesn't object when you begin to compare some of the colour varieties of powder with her skin. She conforms with you even when you start to powder her face.

Honestly, you're not sure what your goal is here, but other than this being a not-unpleasant icebreaker, you found this strangely comforting. It was familiar and it also doubled in helping to distract you from the more depressing thoughts lingering in your mind.

"May I ask," Deme says as you brush some powder on her cheek. "What's the point of this, my Tallest?"

"To look nice," you reply simply. "Have you ever wondered about how the empire's idols always look so perfect? Well, the answer is a little bit of makeup and some careful work."

Deme is quiet for a moment. It looks as if she's considering your words as if they were prophetic.

"So it's all fake, then." she blurts out.

You pause. You look into her eyes, and after a moment of contemplation you say, "I... guess you could put it that way."

_Fake._

Was it, fake? All this? Your... your might, your power, your title... Was it all really just an image? Just something to _look nice_?

You remember Neer's Trial clear as day. You don't like to think about it, and every time you do you feel that helplessness all over again. The Control Brains were the one to decide her fate. You didn't even have a say in it.

_Was the Tallest, the highest, most powerful position in the empire, the position you've coveted since the earliest years of your life... truly powerless?_

Power... What does that really mean?

_"It's all wasted on you!" she had screamed at the Tallest standing above her. "They're just playing you all for fools! What's the point of having leaders if they won't even do anything to help their people?"_

But you _were_ helping by leading... weren't you? _No, no, no,_ Neer was a heretic. An insignificant error. Just _that_. All her words mean nothing and all her efforts amounted to nothing.

But were they? Did they? You were here thinking about her, weren't you? And even if she didn't leave any impact on you, her death has certainly changed Deme in ways that you weren't aware of.

You're pulled from your thoughts when Deme's voice breaks the silence. She moves your hands from her face and gazes directly into your eyes, her amber ones burning with a determination you haven't seen in a long time.

"My Tallest," she begins, her tone soft but serious. "There's something I need to discuss with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Slams table* IT TOOK A WHILE AND IT'S SHORT BUT IT'S FINALLY HERE!!
> 
> Boy was this one a struggle to get started with, but once I did I kept on going. The big problem wasn't just writer's block but I was also going through another one of my My-Works-Suck block which Really discouraged me from writing another chapter for this. I was able to pump out another fic in the meantime though, which is a Red/Reader that you can find [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26410777) (am I plugging my own fic? Yes, yes I am.)
> 
> Also, big shoutout to [onionstories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onionstories) for being awesome and listening to me ramble in their dms every morning for the past week and also for their really really hot takes and headcanons on Irken lore and society that have been helping me shape my own story! Thanks pal <3
> 
> Also, I watched a few makeup vids to make sure I don't write anything horrendously wrong (even though I didn't end up getting too into detail sgjsfksdh) and I'm _astounded_. I swear, makeup is straight-up magic. If you're a makeup artist or just good at doing makeup I applaud you because makeup is cool and don't you let other people tell you otherwise!


	4. Who Would've Thought?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You_ did, but when Deme recounts her chance encounter with a rebel you start to rethink those thoughts.

_Deme blinked again._

_"You're kidding right?" She scrunched her face. This Vortian had to be making fun of her. "Why would_ I _want to help you destroy the Irken Empire? In case you haven't noticed," She gestured to herself. "I'm an Irken."_

_The Vortian wasn't fazed. "Exactly!"_

_Without any prompting, the other walked around the table and sat down in the seat across from Deme's. She only watched as the Vortian called a waiter and made an order, too dumbfounded to do anything. She had been expecting a fight, after all, not a chat over a nice meal._

_"Would you like anything?" At her expression, the Vortian beamed. "My treat. I'm Lakser, by the way, but my friends call me Lucky. You?"_

_Deme stood where she was, leveling the other with a befuddled stare. When she didn't say anything, "Lakser" only hummed thoughtfully but didn't prompt her any further._

_"You know what, that's okay, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to," Lakser assured her, putting up her hands placatingly. Her expression then suddenly turned serious and she leaned forward with a more eager smile. "Do tell me this, though—Are you satisfied?"_

_Deme is once again taken aback by the strange question. "_ What? _"_

 _"Are you satisfied with your position? Your role, your_ life _?" Lakser's eyes swept over her and she felt as if this Vortian was seeing a lot more than her magenta-coloured uniform. "I'm guessing that you're a Navigator—Captain. And from the colour your vessel is the Tallest's. You must work pretty closely with them, but there must be something disgruntling you if you're here instead of there."_

_Deme looked at her with wide eyes. That can't all just be a guess. This has to have been a planned ambush! This Vortian knew who she was and intended to try and use that to her own advantage._

_Deme was_ not _going to let that happen. She had sworn loyalty to the Tallest since she was barely even a soldier and there was no way she would betray_ you _of all people. If she couldn't save Neer, she'd remain true to that, at least._

_"What?" Lakser said with a knowing smile. It appeared friendly, but Deme knew better than to trust it. "Am I right?"_

_Deme scowled. She didn't spare the Vortian another second of her attention and instead turned swiftly on her heel._

_"No," she said curtly. "And I'm not interested in anything else you have to say."_

_"W-Wait!" the Vortian called after her more urgently now. "What... What would Neer say?!"_

_Deme involuntarily stopped in her tracks._

__( _Why?_ she'd ask herself later.) __

 __How did this Vortian know Neer? _She wanted to leave. She wanted to act like she didn't care and yet, she turned her head and looked at the Vortian again._

_"Neer's dead," she said dryly. Inside, she felt awful for being so dismissive, but she didn't let it show on her face or in her voice._

_"So you_ do _know her," the Vortian said with a hint of relief in her voice. "That means you're Deme, then, aren't you?"_

_She turned fully, feeling frantic. "How do you—"_

_"Neer talked about you a lot," the Vortian said, her gaze turning wistful. "She always thought that you'd be able to understand—"_

_"How do you know me? How do you know Neer?!"_

_The Vortian stood at the metallic sound of PAK legs unfurling and hastily held up her hands._

_"Whoa-whoa-whoa! Calm down, we can talk this over!"_

_"You have ten seconds—"_

_"Neer was one of us! She was part of the Resisty!"_

_Deme froze. In her shock, it felt as if even her heart had stopped beating for a full second._

_"Neer was...?"_

__Why am I surprised? _She already knew who Neer was—_ what _she was. It was probably because deep down she had been hoping that Neer had had the slightest bit of loyalty left for the empire—for the_ Tallest _, but she should've known that the soldier she once knew was all gone when she'd first heard of Neer's attempt on a Tallest's life all those months ago. Why_ wouldn't _she be a member of a group bent on destroying everything they've fought for?_

_"I'm... sorry that you had to hear it from me," the Vortian sighed. "Neer had hoped to tell you herself, but she was afraid you would hate her."_

_"Why...?" was all that Deme could pry out from among her thoughts. "Why?"_

_The Vortian smiled sadly. "I'm afraid that you're going to have to clarify."_

_Deme didn't realise that she was moving until she was slamming a fist down on the diner table._

_"_ Why?! _" she repeated. Her clouded mind cleared a little for her to be able to form proper sentences. "Why did she betray us? She made the vow to dedicate her life to serving the empire—_ We _made that vow. How could she—"_

_She was cut off by someone else clearing their throat. They both turned and saw the waiter from earlier with Lakser's order balanced on one of his many arms._

_"You break that, you buy that," he said stoically, pointing to the table. He didn't say another word as he gave Lakser her food and went off to serve other customers. He didn't even comment on their loud conversation. Now that Deme was looking for it, she realised that no one else around them were paying them any mind despite their commotion. She could only conclude that stuff like this happens often around here, but despite this, she still lowered her voice as she continued to speak._

_"How could Neer throw her life away for... this?" she gestured vaguely, the specific words lost to her._

_"That's because she believed in a different cause from what the empire had in mind," Lakser began, absentmindedly swiping a nacho and dipping it in the prepared cheese. "She didn't want to betray you, but she believed that after joining us she was finally fighting for the right thing;_ you _."_

_Deme's heart beat so hard that she could hardly hear herself think._

_"I..." she stammered, and she reached up to wipe some tears away on her glove. "I don't understand..."_

_Lakser's smile was apologetic and yet hopeful as she gestured for Deme to sit down. She swallowed her nacho before saying anything else._

_"I'll explain it to you if you're willing to listen." She nudged the plate of nachos towards her. "Nacho?"_

_Deme hesitated, but after a minute of careful consideration, she finally sat and accepted a nacho._

* * *

You lie in bed, but your mind won't stop swirling with thoughts.

Deme had suggested something shocking to you. Something unthinkable. And yet you can't stop thinking about it.

_"You've thought about the system, haven't you?"_

_You looked at her questioningly._

_"Of course I have. Why are you bringing this up?"_

_Deme fidgeted uncomfortably, looking hesitant to say her next words, but she'd resigned herself to it and refused to back down._

_"I... I met someone... interesting... while I was gone. She told me something—a lot of things, actually, and—I know it's terrible but I've been thinking about it—"_

Liberation from the empire.

A part of you immediately told you that it was silly to even consider it—to just laugh in Deme's face and tell her to never mention it again. But a bigger, stubborn part of you _wanted_ to consider it—Freedom from the empire's one-track mentality. It was a deep part of you that you had denied existed, that you had denied conflicted with the empire's ways. A deep part of you born out of hatred and rage that you had been ordered to bury deep, deep down by commanders and comrades and tallers.

_The height system is stupid._

The words echo in your mind; A hidden memory resurfacing and spoken in voices that are now old and gone. In your mind's eye, you see deep, violet eyes filled with defiance as the words are uttered, but among them you also see shining magenta eyes looking back at you from the reflection of a blank control screen.

The first time you had questioned the empire had been during one of your younger years. You were bruised, beaten and bleeding, but your injuries didn't stop you from shooting the arms off the taller that had assaulted you. Your punishment had been restless patrols around the planet, but you had cried not because of your exhaustion, but because of the unfairness of it all.

You'd dismiss your treasonous thoughts after that, but doing so didn't stop your traitorous mind from bringing them back up from the depths of your mind whenever you were inconvenienced.

Thoughts like these were dangerous—Likely because, deep down, you know that they held a semblance of truth.

But how could they? They conflicted with literally everything you believe in. Height meant power and power means getting to do whatever you want. It was simple. That was how it was and always will be.

Even if you don't like it. Even if that promised "power" was a lie, you can't really do anything about it.

Letting out a growl of frustration, you clench your pillow and toss onto your side, covering half of the pillow over your face.

"I hate this," you mumble. You want to _do_ something, but you _can't_.

The room remained silent. It's not like you had been expecting a response anyway, but nonetheless you can't help but lift the pillow from your face to look at the puppets on the side table. They sat leaning against each other, motionless and lifeless. You know that they were just puppets, that the real Red and Purple were still lightyears away out in space somewhere, but you couldn't help but hope for some form of comfort from them.

Another attempt to contact them is futile. You toss your tablet away and lie on your back, holding an arm over your eyes out of exasperation. You don't like admitting to it, but you were starting to feel desperate. You wanted to— _needed_ to hear their voices. Not from a recording, but a call or a message or literally anything else that would indicate to you they were safe.

You wanted desperately to know what they would think of this situation. What they would say towards Deme's words. Would they laugh? Would they mock her? Would they want to condemn her like Neer? Your mind is so frazzled that you can't pinpoint the most likely possibility.

You don't know what you _can_ do. If there was even anything you could do that wouldn't involve betraying your own empire. That would be _wrong_ and your Tallest always told you that a leader only makes the right decisions.

Your Tallest.

What would she say? Would she be ashamed of you? She had spent so long shaping you into an ideal leader for the Irkens and yet here you were, crying over her memory and the emptiness of your bed.

She certainly wouldn't approve you being such a smeet about everything, that's for sure. You aggressively rub away your tears on your sleeve and stare up at the ceiling as you try to clear your mind. _What would she say?_

As you ponder, you think you hear Miyuki's voice somewhere in your thoughts, instructing you like she used to and strictly ordering you to pull yourself together and act like a Tallest. You hear a memory of her complimenting your resolve despite your tendency to overstep—You just needed to bury your impulses and move forward instead of allowing them to make you step off the cliff to the plunge.

But would she approve if you used that resolve in a way that would directly go against everything that the empire stood for?

What did _she_ stand for? Almighty Miyuki had always been a mystery to you, but you'd think that she _wouldn't_ support the downfall of her own empire.

While you're not entirely sure what Red and Purple might think, you know one thing that they would say to you.

_"You're a Tallest. A Tallest should get to do whatever they want!"_

_"Isn't that why you wanted to become one in the first place?"_

Your mind remembers all those days, weeks and years of Elite training—Training to improve, to be better, to show how deserving you were despite your height. You remember all those times you sat next to Red between assignments telling him of your ambitions, your intention of becoming the tallest of tallers and getting to shoot off _anyone's_ limbs without punishment.

You vividly remember their laughs and the way they'd smile at you and each other as if... as if being together was better than being Tallest ever could.

What did _you_ stand for? What do _you_ want?

Well, the answer to that was simple. You stood for yourself, and right now, you want your fellow Tallest back and you can't care less about breaking a few rules if it meant that you could have them with you again.

You are an Almighty Tallest and you _will_ do something because you _can_. If the Control Brains think they can tell you otherwise, they can suck it because a Tallest gets to do what _they_ want no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated! Please point out any inconsistencies and mistakes for me to fix. I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! <3


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